community

What Now, Lord?

In my last blog post (Lost My Mo-Jo?), I sort of left you hanging on the edge, lacking a grand “the end”.  As I get my writing mo-jo back from taking the extended summer off, let me warn you.  This may take more than one or two posts to catch you up on things.

I won’t burden you with the chronological moment-by-moment play-by-play.  Instead, I’d like to highlight the Ureka(!) times that God suddenly showed Himself to hubs and me.  First, a little preliminary groundwork.

We know God is always working, even when we don’t see evidence of it.  Quite frankly, signs were slim to none in my circumstances until earlier this year.

In the midst of Covid, I wasn’t as disappointed with life as before – opposite from most people.  I know!  Oddly, Covid somewhat gave me a sense of community again.

While you possibly felt you’d lost yours, our quarantine situation gave me a community feeling of sorts.  Everyone else suddenly lived the life I’d lived for 28 months due to illness.  Seclusion.  Separation.  Limits on even the ordinary.

Little personal, face-to-face contact with others (except hubs, of course).  Straightaway from the onset of Covid, I could relate to my new national community.

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!  (Psalm 133:1)

During the summer of 2019, I wondered if God would EVER say yes to me again, for all I’d seen was no after no for a very long time.  A longing deep inside me screamed for community, to be included and invited into activities, into life — not just occasionally but regularly, day-to-day.  Simply, to feel included in community again.

Pre-illness, I volunteered to join in on things at church, to help, to serve.

sisters unified

That was before.  With new physical limitations, I struggled to find a place to serve, a group, whatever.  Something.  Anything.

What now, Lord?

Our recent season of living in seclusion wasn’t new to me.  It was my life – and had been somewhat for years but was more pronounced after the onset of illness.

  • Kids now grown and gone
  • Miles away from friends, farther from family
  • No neighborhood of activity around me
  • Extremely rare surprise visitors at our doorstep (something I loved about living in our old neighborhood).

There was nothing lacking in friends and church family here.  When ill health came, they supported and prayed – and still do.  Living at this distance out (from our small town) was a huge issue.  I felt disjointed, separated, secluded . . . quarantined(!) – a location issue along with the physical.

Does this make sense to you at all?  Yes, I longed to be a part of something, but God didn’t seem to be in it.

As others lamented over their new COVID19 life, I understood.  They (and perhaps you) were subsequently very much like me, their (your) life like mine.  All Americans can relate to my situation – because now we all have experienced those ensuing emotions.  Our need for people

For a people-oriented girl, a large void gaped open, mostly.  There were a few who came alongside me, and I thank them deeply .  (I thanked the Lord regularly for them!)  As time crept by during coronavirus quarantine, I noticed many who found themselves stuck in a season of lament.

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity! (Psalm 133:1) Click To Tweet

Just before Covid quarantine started, I made some changes.  God has blessed me (and hubs) with a beautiful setting in the country where we soak in breath-taking sunrises and sunsets.  I intentionally started basking (and worshiping) in those early and late times of day as I had done all the years before – prior to my extensive season in seclusion.

With the Lord’s help, it occurred to me that I needed to divert my eyes to other things (blessings) when life isn’t exactly as I desire.  (I’m a little slow, I know, but God eventually gets through.)

You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing. (Psalm 145:16)

Seasons of lament come and go, and we need to make a change when we’re stuck, as did I.  Rather than spend our days in self-pity, sorrow over “what was”, and grief, we need to pause and appreciate our surroundings every day.  And look up!  Nothing satisfies like the Lord.

Stay tuned for the Urekas, y’all.  They are next!  🙂

Because He lives~

Hi and welcome! It's wonderful to have fellow "embracers" during some pretty tough seasons - and some triumphant ones, too. I invite you to enroll to receive my blog posts by email so you don't miss what's coming next.

4 Comments

  • Rhonda

    Kim, Gosh, you have an uncanny knack (or is it a divinely gifted knack–wink, wink) for putting feelings in words —- yours and mine. I apologize for not being by your virtual side (even from a distance) more during these last months. BUT, I’m sooooo glad you’re getting your mo-jo back and God is saying YES to your prayers. As you said, we both know God’s No’s/Yes’s/Not Now’s are ALWAYS for our good but I loved being reminded this morning that He is ALWAYS at work, even when we don’t see evidence of it. Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!

    Here are a couple of His Words that I am relying on today. Hope they will encourage you as well:

    “….but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer”. Ps. 66:19

    “Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him”. Ps. 34:8

    Love, Rhonda

    • Kim

      Thank you, Rhonda. It was no fault of yours! Or others. It comes down to the need for regular interaction with people. Simply put, as the name suggests, a people person needs people. And, you are right about God’s answers. They are for the good of all His people – everyone involved. A somewhat small consolation at the time was that God was using hubs to complete God’s plan in other ways – in areas unrelated to my situation but involving people I love. All was well, but I was ready for the final wrap-up sooner than He. Wonderful scriptures! 🙂

    • MARIA ISELA SANDOVAL NUÑEZ

      Hey Kim: So good to hear from you! Yes, our Abba is always a step ahead of us knowing our deep desires and am so happy you now have started to experience His “YESes”. It is very difficult to feel you’ve been too long in the dry and weary land…”O God, You are my God; with deepest longing I will seek You;
      My [a]soul [my life, my very self] thirsts for You, my flesh longs and sighs for You,
      In a dry and weary land where there is no water.” Psalm 63:1 I must tell you I´ve had a hard season of my own this 2020, not only because of the Covid, but because of many other difficult situations I´ve been through… the latest was a health issue, too. BUT you know what? In those moments of desperation you came to my mind, and your testimony gave me the strength to bring to a halt those self-pity moments! I praise our Abba for your life and the life of my other “virtual” sisters in Christ who have been with me, encouraging and praying alonside. Big hug to you and my continued prayers my sister! He is Faithful!! (Here are more verses of this beautiful Psalm 63)
      2 So I have gazed upon You in the sanctuary,
      To see Your power and Your glory.
      3 Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
      My lips shall praise You.
      4 So will I bless You as long as I live;
      I will lift up my hands in Your name.
      5 My [b]soul [my life, my very self] is satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
      And my mouth offers praises [to You] with joyful lips.
      6 When I remember You on my bed,
      I meditate and thoughtfully focus on You in the night watches,
      7 For You have been my help,
      And in the shadow of Your wings [where I am always protected] I sing for joy.
      8 My [c]soul [my life, my very self] clings to You;
      Your right hand upholds me.

      Mari

      • Kim

        Thank you so much, Mari. Some friends and I completed a Psalm study this summer, meeting on Zoom. This chapter is (these verses, especially vs. 1-3) very meaningful indeed! Thank you for including them in your comment so all can enjoy. I’m sad to hear you’ve had a hard season. I didn’t know – and pray the trouble is behind you. Thank you for the encouragement, by the way. Big hug, my virtual friend and sister! 🙂

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