Don't Be Old Bitty

How NOT To Be An Old Bitty

I’ve heard the term “old bitty” my entire life.  I might (or might not) have even called someone by that term on occasion quietly to myself.  Any proper Southern woman would never say that directly  to someone’s face.  That just wouldn’t do!

Do you have an occasional fear of becoming an old bitty?  What would qualify us as such?

First we must decide on a spelling.  Urban Dictionary spells it “Bitty”. spells it “Biddy”.  Both sites define an old bitty as someone who is unpleasant.  The term “bitter” comes to mind.  Bitty is a derivative of bitter, so Bitty is the spelling I  choose here.  🙂

Secondly, since we throw “old” in there with Bitty, we must qualify as elderly to be an old  bitty.  I don’t know about you, but in my fifties I consider myself to be quite a few years from the elderly  category.  How about you?

Besides, old  is a mindset.  If we think young, we act younger, and therefore, seem younger to those around us.  Being bitter is a choice we make – an action.  If we act bitterly towards those around us, we appear to be stuck in our unpleasant ways and all too willing to share our somewhat negative opinions, even when not asked.

To avoid the title of an old bitty, don’t be bitter.  Wear a smile on your face.  Keep negative opinions to yourself.  Think young and positive and pleasant!

Don't Be Old BittyI realize this isn’t always easy for some of us (me included), so we need to rely on the Lord to give us the renewing of our mind that this “bitty evasion” will require.

And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.  Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  (Philippians 4:8)

I speak to myself here as much as to you.  Don’t think I’m totally innocent in this, because I’m just as guilty as the next embracer -or more so!

It’s especially hard to guard our attitudes during the years of mental pause.  We need to be forever conscious of our words and demeanor with others no matter what is going on in our lives – whether in a tough or triumphant season.  For others to see Christ in us, we need to cling to our trust in Jesus and shine His light.  That sometimes requires us to step beyond a situational tough season and inner turmoil.  I know.  Hard.  To.  Do.

This doesn’t mean you have to be a fake.  Others who know you personally know when you are in a tough season.  They know you are rising above your personal trauma and giving God control.  What a testimony that is – to His love, His faithfulness, His care of you, His finishing work in your situation that we know is soon to be.

So, what about you in your non-bitty-dom (my made-up term)?  Have you ever feared becoming known as an old bitty?  What techniques have you used to evade the title?  I look forward to your comments and input.


Hi and welcome! It's wonderful to have fellow "embracers" during some pretty tough seasons - and some triumphant ones, too. I invite you to enroll to receive my blog posts by email so you don't miss what's coming next.


  • Robin

    Old bitty? Me? Couldn’t ever happen! I’m too young at heart. 🙂 Now my teenager, well?! LOL! She calls herself “grandma” because she drives like one (at 17! Lol) and can’t stand the stupid stuff these “youngins” say and do. Lol She has no time for drama. She hates the bus ride to and from school because of what she is forced to listen to. (None of her gal pals are on her bus. Just “stupid people” as she jokingly calls them. Lol) If I called her old bitty she would say “Yep. That’s me!” Jokingly, of course. But not too far from the truth! Lol.

    I have always been a bit of a free spirit. And child-like. Not child-ISH. There is a huge difference. I remember how I was as a kid….Arguing with my bestie and stomping off and then later in the day back at her door saying, “Play with ya”. All done and over with. Forgiven. I’ve taken that with me into adulthood. It doesn’t always happen as FAST as it did when I was a kid. And I don’t always FORGET so easy. But I forgive.

    And I have FUN! I enjoy life. I joke. (A LOT!) But it’s in balance with the “serious adult stuff”.

    In today’s world “anything goes” so anyone with RIGHT THINKING is called “judgey” or an “old bitty”. People live by the motto “If it feels good, do it. “. It’s Corinth all over again! I don’t say anything to anyone but I sure do THINK a few things…… like “Just because they make it doesn’t mean you have to buy it. “, or “Spandex is NOT for everyone”. Ok so I may have a facial reaction or two as well. I keep my judginess to myself or in my car where no one can see or hear me. I am working on not reacting. It is not easy when you are a sewer-crafter-fashionista living in today’s world! There is this one store a few towns over that should be called Hookers-R-Us ! I mean seriously! There is barely any fabric at all! Low cut and high cut with holes in the middle! This store is in the biggest city in NJ. It’s also a depressed area. So that means a lot of low income people, lots of fatherless households, lots of uneducated young mothers. Gangs. Women with low self worth. And this store plays on that. “Wear this and you will get attention. “. Yeah. The WRONG kind of attention. But they don’t GET that concept because they don’t know the Lord and are not being taught the importance or FATHERS. Sorry. Tangent there. My husband is teaching on fathers again next weekend so I’m a bit hyped up. Lol.

    • Kim

      Yea, I can’t see you being called an old bitty. And, I totally get the “say it in your car” thing. Others don’t necessarily need to hear everything that comes to mind. (We need to reign in our tongue and control that thing!) That’s funny about your daughter being an “old soul”. It sounds like maybe she’s a mature driver. Ha! Great sermon series your husband is doing. Much needed all around! 🙂

  • Alycia Nichols

    I don’t necessarily feel like an old bitty, but my body says otherwise. While positivity is a virtue, I find myself having to accept the fact that much has to change because my broken body dictates it. (I’m sure you can relate to a great extent.) It’s a tough thing to face, to accept, to embrace. When your whole life has been all about being active and kind of a wild child, having that turn on a dime (or what would seem so, at least) is tough. I’m trying my best to bring my brain and heart to terms with my spine. They constantly bicker with one another these days, and if I take sides, the other side stages a rebellion. Contemplation and prayer (along with a lifetime of PT!) seem to be the best course of action to avoid that “old biddy-ism” that lurks around every corner. Worth a try!

    • Kim

      You are way too positive and uplifting to be known as an old bitty, Alycia! I’m sorry to hear you’re still having trouble with your back/spine. Getting older sure does stink sometimes! When I fall into a pitty party, I think of an acquaintance who had a migraine and was suddenly permanently blind. Talk about a drastic life change! I’ve been so sad for her and all the changes she had to suddenly make in her life. (What does she do all day? How does she occupy her mind without the ability to even read?) You are right about prayer. God can get us through it all! Love you, dear friend! 🙂

  • Pam Richardson

    Km, I have heard the term for years! I certainly don’t want to be one. The scriptures you shared are the answer for growing old gracefully. It is a spirit of ungratefulness and unforgiveness that causes us to become bitter. Thanks so much for sharing!

    • Kim

      I can’t imagine you ever being one, either! Yes, an attitude of gratitude makes a world of difference. I’ll be starting a Praise challenge soon to help us focus on God’s goodness and our gratitude to Him. Happy Wednesday, friend! 🙂

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